Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
It was confusing and full of hummus
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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