I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
