I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
