I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
The air was thick with penises
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
