Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
