you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
