Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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