I think im going to throw up on grandma
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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