So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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