another moral hangover. fuck.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Drake has all the answers
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Randomize
