I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
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