In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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