No awkward lesbian experiences without me
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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