I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
