Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
