so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
