dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
