hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
