he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
