Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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