My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
