The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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