Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
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