She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
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