champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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