My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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