I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
