sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
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