dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
