So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
You left your phone here
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