My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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