is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
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