he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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