very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
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