i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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