I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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