sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
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I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
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Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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