I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
You pole danced in your parka.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
