who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
