fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize
