Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Randomize
