no. you can't hotbox the world.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Randomize