did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
