Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
