Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
