new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
