**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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