Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
