i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Randomize
