i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
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