would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
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