great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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