I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
