Is it because I queefed?
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
