dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I didn't notice because vodka
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
