I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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