I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Randomize
