I'm lost and stupid without you.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
