When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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