ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
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