Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
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