I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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